The Prestidigitator

So it’s like this…I had a lousy day for no particular reason. A really really lousy day and that too…for no humanly discernable reason.

Back in school and college, I was always known as the goofy guy who said stupid things (intentionally people, intentionally) and mostly friendly and cordial. Today for the first time, a guy comes and says that I look perpetually lost and that to everyone so far, I’ve come across as the eternal recluse. I politely disagreed and sulked for the rest of the damn day!

It also had me thinking on how much I’ve changed over the last couple of months. It is a bit unnerving and I’m not sure which of these are actually good:

1. I’ve developed a strong liking for all corn and corn related products (sweet corn, corn flakes, corn on the cob, corn flour…ok not that.).
2. I’ve become really really really cynical about people in general. I find myself drifting in and out of conversations and at most times, I have no idea what we’re talking about.
3. People are starting to tire me…a lot. I seldom believe anybody anymore.
4. I talk to myself a lot more than I used to. (I know what you’re thinking. *weiiiiiirdo* Right?)
5. I’m beginning to get really scared about getting older. I really don’t want to.
6. I’ve suddenly got so many plans for my life. Want to do so many things with my life…but I’m not sure I will.
7. I’ve started listening to hindi songs and shockingly…I sing them too (much to the consternation of my friends).
8. People hum in the bathroom…I’ve begun dancing!!!
9. I’m really starting to like the Bible again…Ecclesiastes is such a poignant book! Existential angst like you’ve never read before!
10. I realised that unlike most people, I can never read classics. Keep Dickens, Shakespere, Conan Doyle etrc…away from me.
11. I think I actually like this whole “part of the software industry” bit.
12. I’ve started really delving into topics like “purpose” ,”my place in life” and “meaning”.

I think the song that pretty much captures how I feel like is 100 Years by Five for Fighting.

Ah! Life! The futility! The beauty of it all!