Disclaimer: The following is a result of waiting too long for something productive (regarding my posting) to happen. The author is not responsible for wasted time or moronic acts inspired by the following rant.
Over the years, we have had numerous men/women who have fought the system single-handedly without compromising on a single one of their ideals. Sadly , the number of such people has dwindled and with the exception of Lester Burnham (1999) and Tyler Durden (1999), we haven’t had many anti establishment heroes to look up to in the recent past. We haven’t had people who can show us the way to true renunciation of materialism and freedom from this s****y consumerist society. We have become…(drumroll)…chicken s**t. Below are a few methods in which you (yes, YOU) can stick it up to The Man without taking the blame, losing your job or selling your children.
10 ways to stick it to The Man without giving yourself away:
- Do not wear your ID card before/after office hours (9-5) especially while outside the office. You unwittingly promote the brand name of The Man. They spend enough on advertising; you don’t need to help them out. Similarly, do not wear shirts/caps/badges/bags/bands that endorse The Man in any way.
- Drink as much coffee/tea/milk from work as possible. They cost at least 5 rupees outside. In this small but significant way, you can make a dent in The Man’s coffers.
- Make funny faces at your colleagues when they’re not looking.
- Use all your paid leaves and sick leaves. Also paternity/maternity leaves.
- Spread vicious (non traceable to you) rumors about colleagues who suck up to The Man.
- If The Man blocks your internet access, do not fret. God gave you smart friends for a reason.
- Make Voodoo dolls of people you hate at work and stick needles into them. Dart boards with your colleagues’ photos are a cliché but a good idea nonetheless.
- In case your company provides perks if you get married to a colleague, get married as soon as possible and file for divorce sooner (and split the booty of course).
- Spread rumors about The Man to competitors and unwittingly trigger a stock market crash.
- Get a life.