The Prestidigitator

Anybody could use a little extra money. That’s what this friend said when he came up to me with a proposal regarding Amway. I’d heard a lot about it (mostly just allegations of it being a cult, blah blah) and I had assumed it to be just a glorified pyramid scheme. So I sat and listened to whatever he had to say about it for over an hour. Apparently, they don’t call it a pyramid scheme anymore; it’s called Multi Level Marketing (sic) ! Anyway, I was skeptical from the start and ended up asking a lot of questions and at the end of it all, I was still left unconvinced. Is it that easy to make so much money by doing nothing? Do people really make money off it? How come so many (really) educated people buy into this?

I began digging (it’s not THAT hard with Google).

Amway, set up in 1959 made over $6.5 Billion in 2005 from selling it’s various products (detergents, utensils etc…) and over the years have made the founders; Devos and Van Andel clans billionaires. They use something called a Distributed Marketing System which is nothing more than a pyramid scheme really where people at the top actually earn money and the ones at the bottom mostly dream of getting to the top.

Historically, many Amway distributors in the United States have lost money or barely made minimum wage for their time.

        Source: International Business Times

You’re really NOT expected to do anything; you just buy the starter kit which does cost a good amount of money and incidentally, Amway makes most of it’s profits from the sale of these starter kits rather than their so called “100% Reliable Products”. Then you hawk around these products with the hope that you add enough members/sell enough products to join the elite few (Diamonds, Emeralds etc…) who make money.

But it looks like the “little fish” “downline” in Amway have little hope of joining the elite and “miniscule…percentage” that make it really big.

One former Amway distributor recently said, “I lost all I had, great job, my financial future, my wife, children, and soul.”

         Source: International Business Times

What is striking of course is that through their various ‘meetings’, Amway has convinced it’s investors that they are actually doing a good thing; financially and morally. These so called meeting have also been accused of functioning like a cult of sorts.

When I told the friend that I needed to do a little reading before I committed to anything, he asked me to NOT go by whatever I find on the net but to simply look up the Forbes List. I do agree that somebody makes money off of all this, but it’s certainly not the ones so down in the chain.

Moreover, Amway’s business model has been declared ‘illegal’ in India and I have a feeling that the 80,000 investors with dollar dreams are in for a bumpy ride!

For further reading:

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amway
• http://in.ibtimes.com/articles/20061213/amway-mlm-business-model.htm
• http://wizardkitten.blogspot.com/2006/07/alticoramway-leaders-cheated-investors.html
• http://www.mouthshut.com/review/Amway-124124-1.html

Alright, so of the 200 odd ‘planets’ discovered over the years, one could actually be inhabitable. GL 581C (weird name, yes), just outside our solar system apparently has conditions that can support life. It’s pretty amazing.

But here’s the problem; it’s 20.5 light years away which means that if you actually manage to travel at the speed of light, it’s still going to take you 20.5 years to get there. Assuming that we don’t end up travelling but simply decide to just send a signal (”Yello, anybody home?”), it’s still going to take another 41 years (best case scenario) to get a reply. That blows.

I do admit that our generation has borne(?) witness to a number of amazing achievments but what could be cooler than being alive when the human race makes extraterrestrial contact?

Sadly, most of the scientific breakthroughs I’m looking forward are allegedly going to take a long long time. Hyperspace travel, The Grand Unified Theory et al.

Sigh. I suddenly wish I wasn’t born till a couple of years back; or even better…a couple of years later.

Disclaimer: Extremely unorganised thought process at work. 

Last evening, Johnny and I decided to catch the animated remake of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Sitting in the cinema hall, we realised that out of the 20 odd people who actually turned up, we were pretty much the only 2 guys over 12. We were the only ones who exclaimed ‘Awesome!‘ or laughed at the one liners. We were the only ones who actually enjoyed the flick.

Nostalgia is a funny thing. It makes it look like the ‘good old days‘ were actually really good. It makes you look back and regress at a much simpler time (not that things are complicated or anything now) when most things revolved around TV and school and friends.

Sitting there and watching TMNT made me feel like a kid again. Weird as it sounds, I remember a lot of these random incidents from my childhood…most of them involving some element of pop culture or the other. My bro and I would tape theme songs from TV shows and play them back over and over again. We even had our own make believe game where we were heroes…with a strong enough plot that would rival most of the crap on TV these days.

I remember being glued to Wonder Years (Fred Savage…aaaanyone?) when we got cable and even wanting to be like Raphael from TMNT.

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re in diapers, the next day you’re gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house like a lot of other houses, a yard like a lot of other yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back, with wonder.

                                  -Narrator, Final episode of The Wonder Years

What did we grow up into? Remarkable kids who grew up to be unremarkable adults.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_%282005_film%29

Anurag Kashyap’s Black Friday is a commendable achievment. The film, an introspection on the 1993 Bombay blasts which left around 300 dead is as unbiased as one can get. Reviewed rapturously well at various international frestivals, this was something I’d been looking forward to for sometime.

The film was completed in 2004 and premiered at Locarno but took over 2 years to get released in India. Reason being that the perpetrators of the crime (those named in the film) asked for a stay saying that public opinion would get biased. I find it amazing that they still justify their actions like that. Flawed as our judicial system is, the film didn’t get released till early this year.

You would expect people to flock to see this film but instead, nobody bothered. Reason: there wasn’t enough entertainment or that it felt too much like a documentary.

It’s sad that such efforts go in vain. Black Friday is one of those films that actually manages to ask questions and state facts as they are.  Technically brilliant (though there are a few noticeable flaws like the 2003 model Toyota Corolla etc…), well acted and thoroughly researched, this is perhaps one of the best efforts of Indian Cinema that also manages to work well as a documentary.

In case you didn’t know, Tiger Memon and his underworld associates who orchestrated the conspiracy are yet to be caught.

Normally, I’m the kind of person who’s not very fond of (or good at) confrontations. I try to avoid it when I can and sometimes even when I shouldn’t. But, over the last 1 week, my net connection at home has been down and the asses at Sify Broadband have taken their own sweet time to fix it.

The lack of connectivity has taken it’s toll on me. I have become angrier and crankier than ever thought possible. I kid you not.

On Friday, I got into an argument with an auto driver and I ended up slapping him (YES!). Luckily, he didn’t do anything back and before he could, backup (read friends) had arrived.

On Staurday, I lost my cool at a Sony Service Center female who had the nerve to say that I had to pay to get dust removed out of my camera LCD which is still very much under warranty.

On Monday, I SMSd a jackass from Deutche Bank who had been calling me repeatedly all day. The SMS read,  

A*****e, stop calling!

And he did stop.

It’s amazing how much the Internet has affected me over the last few years. I have become far too dependant on it and sometimes it scares me…but not enough to stay of it!

Anyway, I have around 27 unread mails and 162 unread feeds. This is killing me.

 Powerful you have become. The dark side I sense in you.  

                                 -Master Yoda, Star Wars

“Consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer.”                                                          

                                - Craig Schwartz  in Being John Malkovich

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children_of_men

I can’t really remember when I last had any hope, and I certainly can’t remember when anyone else did either. Because really, since women stopped being able to have babies, what’s left to hope for?

I’m a cynic. I believe that a 100 years from now, chances that mankind will cease to exist are huge. Think about it, we’re almost there. Wars, racism, famine, water shortage, religious fanaticism, global warming, stockpiling of WMDs etc…Hence, I’ve always loved films and books that depict a dystopian future.

I’m going to try to limit the use of superlatives in this review but somehow, even 12 hours after the film I can’t seem to stop thinking about it and marvelling at the sheer genius of Alfonso Cuaron.

Children of Men (loosely based on the book by P D James) depicts a future where mankind is less than a century away from extinction as women have stopped giving birth for over 2 decades. No lengthy exposition is given to explain the whys or the hows involved. The canvas speaks for itself. The screen is lush with potent visuals; every single frame is of significance. Cuaron has done away with the traditional narrative and has given importance to stunning visual imagery.

Theo (Clive Owen) is an everyman, apathetic to his surroundings and has quitely accepted the fate of humanity. His wife Julian (Julianne Moore) is a rebel who after 20 years asks for his help. Apparently, there is a pregnant woman in hiding, Kee who may hold the…well…key to humanity’s survival. She needs to be transported to the Human Project and Julian trusts only Theo. What could be more profound than a reluctant hero fnding his calling?

The film is funny, grim, poignant and very moving and it doesn’t ask questions; but simply states hard hitting facts. Ultimately, it IS a film about hope and even faith.

But what one notices the most are the visuals. There are a few lengthy single shots which are truly mindblowing. They almost seem technically impossible to achieve. One of the scenes (among many) that really made me cringe was Kee giving birth.

The soundtrack is a masterpiece in itself, my favorite track being the haunting ‘Ruby Tuesday’.

Perhaps the only film in the recent past along with Pan’s Labyrinth  that is truly worth watching. Truly worth thinking about.

10/10

What exactly are these so called ‘Moral Values’ that so many self righteous pretentious hypocrites of our country keep touting? Really?

This is a long due post. It will not  arrive at any conclusions and it will not do anything about the ’situation at hand’. Like most passive youngsters (!), I cannot do anything about it and if given the opportunity, I would prefer apathy over any sort of activism. But sometimes, the things you see around simply get far too depressing and not to mention plain annoying!

Do I like the media? No. Do their justifications on sensationalizing news make sense? Yes, to an extent. Are right wing protests (read Shiv Sena and the likes) against the media justified? Are you bloody kidding me?

1. Shilpa Shetty/Richard Gere: An over enthusiastic ‘peck’ suddenly becomes prime time news material and in no time the ”moral brigade” of our country go on a rampage. The absurdity of the situation lies not only in the fact that the media hyped a somewhat not so innocent kiss, but that the protesters actually thought it was ‘offensive’! Now, haven’t they really noticed the sleaze (thinly disguised as entertainment) invading Cinema halls and homes?

2. Banning Sex Education in Maharashtra:  Now, forgive me when I say this…but sex really isn’t that much of a secret as we think. I mean…we have over a billion people in the country, it’s not like NOBODY’S thinking about it! And if you manage to peek it to our rich culture, you’ll agree that sex was very much a part of it. I will not elaborate but it baffles my mind that some of these idiots think that sex shouldn’t be discussed in schools. Won’t kids go looking for other sources? Isn’t that bad? Why is it that this bothers so many people, educated teachers and parents even?

3.  Star News Office Damaged: A Muslim boy(22) elopes with a Hindu girl(16) and become ‘news’ on Star News. Hours later, the Hindu Rashtra Sena ransack the office, smash furniture and vehicles. Where does this end?

Sometimes, I think the root cause for all this is religion itself. Man has fought ever since the concept of God was discussed and debated. Maybe what we really need is a Brave New World kind of scenario where religion is banned, children are created not born and the bounds of ethics and morals are clearly defined.

This is but a tip of the iceberg. Our country is in more of a mess that you and I think and unfortunately, most people are slight variants of myself; commentators.

In keeping with my whole Garden State/Zach Braff fan boy image, here’s the ultimate ZB homage video. Just after I got it from Pangu, I found out that Zach Braff actually posted it on his blog as well!

The video is so bad that it’s actually pretty damn good. I think I’ll be humming this for a while!

I don’t care what you say,

In a non gay way, I love Zach Braff!

Hilarious!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_gebFHutLw]

Reality Bites: Ben Stiller (1994)

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/reality_bites/

Lelaina Pierce: I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23

I’d been dying to see this movie for a very long time now; reason being that I have a soft spot for coming of age stories a la Garden State AND it had ‘Natalie Portman of the last decade‘, namely Winona Ryder.

This film is one of those cult classics generations to come will enjoy because even though it seems dated, it remains the quintessential coming of age tale about 20 somethings trying to find meaning in an absurd world of jobs, love and money (Alright, I just made that up).

There are quite a few interesting characters like the closet homosexual scared to come out to his folks (Steve Zahn), the flighty girl slowly consumed by the fear of AIDS (Janeane Garofalo), the hot shot executive who somehow isn’t quite the good guy (Ben Stiller), the wannabe film maker (Winoana Ryder) and the intelligent/seemingly enlightened dope head (Ethan Hawke).

There are a few forced moments of sentimentality and quite a few cliches, but somehow I managed to overlook all that simply because the film feels right when you’re in your twenties. Existential angst, confounding career choices et al.

Top it off with a pretty darn good soundtrack and a number of excellent scenes (an amazing monologue by Hawke and a dance to the song, ‘Hey Sharona‘).

One of those films you just have to watch even though it’s pretty cheesy.

7/10

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The Namesake: Mira Nair (2007)

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/namesake/

I’ve read Jhumpa Lahiri’s book but somehow I preferred the film a whole lot more.

It’s an ode to Indian parenthood and family. If you go in expecting a plot or the traditional Desi-American comedy, you will be sorely disappointed like almost everybody else in the theatre. It has a sort of episodic structure wherein the story of an Indian family settled in New York gradually unfolds. Tabu and Irfan Khan are simply amazing, playing the kind of couples who got married in the late 70s who actually fell in love after marriage. The acting is restrained, yet deeply moving. A few scenes really do affect you.

As time moves on (on screen of course), their son Gogol Ganguli (a not so impressive Kal Penn) grows up to hate his name. His ‘namesake‘ is the Russian philosopher, Nikolai Gogol whose work had a profound yet overly dramatized effect on Gogol’s father.

The third act is pretty moving and bad things do happen. This isn’t a feel good film per se and the ending is pretty ambiguous like the book.

That said, I really did like the film for Tabu and Mira Nair’s amazing direction. She being an expatriate herself was able to bring out the nuances of second generation Indians living abroad. Poignant and occasionally moving. A film for the slightly more serious cinema goer.

8/10

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